I'm sorry, but there is no better way to say it.
Before you assume I'm being shallow hear me out....
I'm not even slightly obsessed with phones. I've had several ghetto phone since I was 16.
Saying that, I might be *am* biased, but I'm pretty sure the iPhone 4S (or whatever the heck its' title is:) kicks some serious ass.
My phone died last week. It was a looooooooong time coming. The weeks prior were spent trying to get it to charge and praying that it wouldn't die right away. I would leave it plugged in all day... and then it'd die right away. I couldn't receive all texts, etc. etc. etc. (Tragic tale.... I know).
Water damage (more than once) + 2 years + way too much texting = dead phone.
So Richard and I discussed phones and plans and shopped around this past Saturday.
Once we learned my sweet younger brother had stolen my update last June for his own phone, we realized I was already in another two year contract with my family plan.
Soooo... since that meant a cheaper phone bill (25-year-olds do stay on their parents plans sometimes!!!... :), we decided to go for a nice phone.
Richard, in an attempt to tell me that there were several good options, described the iPhone as "like having a Mac instead of a PC".
Unfortunately my boyfriend doesn't fully understand my love for Macs and my strong opinion that they are the better computer... hands. down. So in that comment I pretty much decided this was the way I'd like to go if possible.
7 hours, 2 Apple stores, 3 Sprint store visits, and several conversations later.... we found the phone we were searching for and got it set up. :)
I realize it's only an item. I realize our culture is too consumed with technology. I realize these things are too expensive without an upgrade available.
..... However, it is the coolest phone ever. I feel like credit should be given where it is due!
There really are some incredibly smart people out there... most of whom I think might be working for Apple.
This phone responds with voice activation to a variety of commands... in a variety of languages.
Its' apps could keep any person thoroughly entertained for far too long.
The picture-taking capability is unreal.
It allows me to chat live, send videos/pictures/texts in an instant, and SO. MUCH. MORE.
And well, let's just say I almost feel guilty for how thankful I am to have one to use! So much fun:)
Thanks Richard for such a thoughtful early Christmas gift... you are the best!
Monday, October 24, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
In a place...
I love living in a place where my boyfriend can walk to my apartment, and pick these on the way.
... and I love having a boyfriend who thinks to pick them for me. :)
... and I love having a boyfriend who thinks to pick them for me. :)
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Like a 7-year-old
Ever feel like you are seeing yourself in a younger form??
I do.
All the time.
This would be one of the results of spending my days with two second graders and one first grader.
Today, however, probably topped all the others.
One of the twin boys I watch basically demonstrated the way I process emotions and events... (yes, apparently it's still like a seven-year-old... cool.)
I picked him up from school and at first he acted totally fine, just a bit spaced out.
Once he had five minutes to sit still, (as we drove home), he was in a COMPLETELY different mode.
I didn't pick up on this right away.
Not until he asked me for something that I couldn't let him do, and almost started crying when I said no.
Clearly an abnormal response since I am POSITIVE that this child does not care about this issue what-so-ever.
Then when I asked him if everything was okay, he stopped to think and just said "no". Note that he seemed to just be learning this along with me.
Ten questions later, we discovered that his feelings were hurt earlier in the day when a friend said he didn't want to be his friend anymore because he couldn't run fast enough (harsh world!!!).
We talked about it, I listened, he told me about how he only has one other friend, and then like magic (and with a hug:), his spirits were lifted.
Fast forward 45 minutes... he mentions that his tummy is hurting, that he feels tired, and that he didn't eat much today.
I notice he is struggling greatly to complete homework and seems to not be able to focus at all.
Like watching myself... no joke.
So...
Steps to processing emotions for this kid and myself:
1. Sincerely don't even realize he is/I am upset.
2. Get angry/sad about something unrelated, but don't understand why.
3. Talk it out to discover the root: hurt feelings.
4. Talk it out some more.
5. Feel relief.
6. Realize/experience all the ways this anxiety has manifested itself in my body throughout the day.
7. Realize that the results of such stressor are actually harder to deal with than the root.
8. Not really know how to shake it for a while, as he/I still feel the anxiety correlated.
I kid you not, this is like clockwork with both my small friend and myself, and fascinating to observe from the other side:)
I don't know why some people experience circumstances a certain way.
I don't know why some people react with a variety of emotions to the same situation.
I don't know why at 25 years old, it's STILL difficult for me to separate my true reactions to things from the anxiety I feel.
What I do know is that when you are like me, and you don't just instantly process how you feel with what's going on at the time... it's really REALLY frustrating to understand.
Ironically though, (or not at all;), I think being this way helps me know how to talk others through things. Not that I'm always great at it! But I do see it differently because of how I think.
So perhaps even in my weakness, I can be used. All glory to God if so.
:)
I do.
All the time.
This would be one of the results of spending my days with two second graders and one first grader.
Today, however, probably topped all the others.
One of the twin boys I watch basically demonstrated the way I process emotions and events... (yes, apparently it's still like a seven-year-old... cool.)
I picked him up from school and at first he acted totally fine, just a bit spaced out.
Once he had five minutes to sit still, (as we drove home), he was in a COMPLETELY different mode.
I didn't pick up on this right away.
Not until he asked me for something that I couldn't let him do, and almost started crying when I said no.
Clearly an abnormal response since I am POSITIVE that this child does not care about this issue what-so-ever.
Then when I asked him if everything was okay, he stopped to think and just said "no". Note that he seemed to just be learning this along with me.
Ten questions later, we discovered that his feelings were hurt earlier in the day when a friend said he didn't want to be his friend anymore because he couldn't run fast enough (harsh world!!!).
We talked about it, I listened, he told me about how he only has one other friend, and then like magic (and with a hug:), his spirits were lifted.
Fast forward 45 minutes... he mentions that his tummy is hurting, that he feels tired, and that he didn't eat much today.
I notice he is struggling greatly to complete homework and seems to not be able to focus at all.
Like watching myself... no joke.
So...
Steps to processing emotions for this kid and myself:
1. Sincerely don't even realize he is/I am upset.
2. Get angry/sad about something unrelated, but don't understand why.
3. Talk it out to discover the root: hurt feelings.
4. Talk it out some more.
5. Feel relief.
6. Realize/experience all the ways this anxiety has manifested itself in my body throughout the day.
7. Realize that the results of such stressor are actually harder to deal with than the root.
8. Not really know how to shake it for a while, as he/I still feel the anxiety correlated.
I kid you not, this is like clockwork with both my small friend and myself, and fascinating to observe from the other side:)
I don't know why some people experience circumstances a certain way.
I don't know why some people react with a variety of emotions to the same situation.
I don't know why at 25 years old, it's STILL difficult for me to separate my true reactions to things from the anxiety I feel.
What I do know is that when you are like me, and you don't just instantly process how you feel with what's going on at the time... it's really REALLY frustrating to understand.
Ironically though, (or not at all;), I think being this way helps me know how to talk others through things. Not that I'm always great at it! But I do see it differently because of how I think.
So perhaps even in my weakness, I can be used. All glory to God if so.
:)
My secret fear...
Spiders? Snakes? Small places? Elevator doors closing on me?
Yes. (Even the last one... would just be a bad way to go out... )
But those aren't so secret really.
If you've ever seen me move quickly across an elevator door frame, you would have no doubts about that fear:)
Secretly though, I have a fear that God may be preparing me to have twins some day. (Richard is probably starting to have a fight-or-flight reaction just reading this...).
Okay, so before you assume I'm being just completely ridiculous, hear me out.
I spoke with a family yesterday that is looking for a fill in nanny whenever theirs', (my good friend), is unable to make it. Great, no biggie.
As I was thinking about meeting these people, I had an euphony: all together I have watched/babysat/nannied not two, not three, not four... but FIVE SETS OF TWINS.
Doesn't that seem a little bit strange??
I mean, I only grew up knowing one set of twins, so five just seems like an abnormally high number.
What's my point?
I don't really have one. Just saying... kind of odd!!
If I end up being right someone should remind me I wrote this blog, so I can't pretend I'm surprised.
:)
Yes. (Even the last one... would just be a bad way to go out... )
But those aren't so secret really.
If you've ever seen me move quickly across an elevator door frame, you would have no doubts about that fear:)
Secretly though, I have a fear that God may be preparing me to have twins some day. (Richard is probably starting to have a fight-or-flight reaction just reading this...).
Okay, so before you assume I'm being just completely ridiculous, hear me out.
I spoke with a family yesterday that is looking for a fill in nanny whenever theirs', (my good friend), is unable to make it. Great, no biggie.
As I was thinking about meeting these people, I had an euphony: all together I have watched/babysat/nannied not two, not three, not four... but FIVE SETS OF TWINS.
Doesn't that seem a little bit strange??
I mean, I only grew up knowing one set of twins, so five just seems like an abnormally high number.
What's my point?
I don't really have one. Just saying... kind of odd!!
If I end up being right someone should remind me I wrote this blog, so I can't pretend I'm surprised.
:)
Monday, October 10, 2011
Made my day...
What made your day today??
For me it was a few things.
Sleeping in.
Getting bills paid.
Great run.
Catching up with friend I miss.
Tennis game with Richard.
aaaannnnnnddddd....
Cleaning up my most recent Goodwill find, a basket/magazine holder/whatever else I can use it for:)
I think it's pretty darn cute for $2.99.
For me it was a few things.
Sleeping in.
Getting bills paid.
Great run.
Catching up with friend I miss.
Tennis game with Richard.
aaaannnnnnddddd....
Cleaning up my most recent Goodwill find, a basket/magazine holder/whatever else I can use it for:)
I think it's pretty darn cute for $2.99.
Hope some simple but sweet things made your day too:)
Friday, October 7, 2011
Hawaii 5-0
Relax... I wasn't arrested.
Nor did I get to be an extra in the hit TV show.... (working on it though!)
Both would probably have made for cooler blog entries. Sorry... can only use what I have to work with people.
So yes, my experience with "Hawaii 5-0"....
In early July, Richard and I were standing in a parking lot outside of a restaurant, when we heard an extremely loud crash coming from the road near by.
We both proceeded to run out to the street to see what caused the sound. Instantly we observed two people driving an SUV backwards down the road... swerving viciously the entire way. This car had smoke coming out of the front and appeared to have just tail-ended another car, (that was sitting at the light with a smashed backside).
Now... given what you may know about my boyfriend and I, would you guess that we had the same reaction to all this happening so quickly??
Nooooope.
Richard instantly... and I mean, as if it was a freaking REFLEX or something, started running down the sidewalk in the direction which the car was moving (What??!! Who moves towards the danger??!!... weirdo!:).
Apparently he was able to piece all of this scene together, reacting abnormally quickly and knowing that the license plate code would be vital in this scenario. (Yes, secretly a super hero I think).
(I know I sound biased, but I'm telling you it went: loud sound, run to road, see car, boyfriend running down the road--all in less than a minute.)
I however, did not put all of this together nearly as quickly.
No, no... I stood there staring at the car and wondering if there was some malfunction occurring that forced it to fly backwards.
Yes, simultaneously Richard was chasing after these people and I was concerned for their safety (assuming they wouldn't be intentionally acting so nuts).
After a few minutes passed, (and some common sense kicked in), I realized this was in fact a hit-and-run that we just witnessed.
Shortly after, Richard returned back. Though unable to retrieve the plate info personally, he successfully managed to send two more of our friends (who were driving by at the time) on a chase to accomplish the task.
So the cops arrived and started talking to us. We answered a few questions and then I left to go inside the restaurant and eat dinner. Within a few minutes, a few of my friends arrived and said that the cops were wanting to talk to me.
Long-story-slightly-shorter... I was the ONLY one who really (and admittedly) got a look at them and therefore was needed to a) drive by and attempt to identify the suspected criminals (who had been caught at this time), and b) fill out a witness statement.
Wasn't able to confidently complete "a", and "b" seemed like just a formality that would soon be forgotten.
Fast forward three months.... I received a supeona in the mail saying the prosecuting attorney needed me to come be a witness for the trial.
UGH.
Now let me pause to explain... I was watching this unfold in front of me, but I made it VERY clear that I couldn't clearly identify anyone and details were hard to recall as it happened SO fast. I said this to the officers on the day it happened... but didn't seem to matter.
Clearly these people didn't realize I have the memory of a goldfish so three months = I'd be NO help what-so-ever.
Buuuut I showed up to court, ready to say the very little I could recall confidently.
Never went on the stand, (client pleaded guilty), but learned a whole lot about how all this works.
Note to self: Don't get involved unless you are REALLY wanting/able to help see everything through. Otherwise it just ends up being a waste of time and energy.
Three hours outside a courtroom with Richard... simply due to the fact that I saw it all happen... because what was happening didn't line up in my head fast enough to stop staring. Go figure.
....
On-the-other-hand, who knows how much it strengthened the prosecutor's case simply having an "eye-witness" present??
Who knows, but I like to think it led to some good:)
Nor did I get to be an extra in the hit TV show.... (working on it though!)
Both would probably have made for cooler blog entries. Sorry... can only use what I have to work with people.
So yes, my experience with "Hawaii 5-0"....
In early July, Richard and I were standing in a parking lot outside of a restaurant, when we heard an extremely loud crash coming from the road near by.
We both proceeded to run out to the street to see what caused the sound. Instantly we observed two people driving an SUV backwards down the road... swerving viciously the entire way. This car had smoke coming out of the front and appeared to have just tail-ended another car, (that was sitting at the light with a smashed backside).
Now... given what you may know about my boyfriend and I, would you guess that we had the same reaction to all this happening so quickly??
Nooooope.
Richard instantly... and I mean, as if it was a freaking REFLEX or something, started running down the sidewalk in the direction which the car was moving (What??!! Who moves towards the danger??!!... weirdo!:).
Apparently he was able to piece all of this scene together, reacting abnormally quickly and knowing that the license plate code would be vital in this scenario. (Yes, secretly a super hero I think).
(I know I sound biased, but I'm telling you it went: loud sound, run to road, see car, boyfriend running down the road--all in less than a minute.)
I however, did not put all of this together nearly as quickly.
No, no... I stood there staring at the car and wondering if there was some malfunction occurring that forced it to fly backwards.
Yes, simultaneously Richard was chasing after these people and I was concerned for their safety (assuming they wouldn't be intentionally acting so nuts).
After a few minutes passed, (and some common sense kicked in), I realized this was in fact a hit-and-run that we just witnessed.
Shortly after, Richard returned back. Though unable to retrieve the plate info personally, he successfully managed to send two more of our friends (who were driving by at the time) on a chase to accomplish the task.
So the cops arrived and started talking to us. We answered a few questions and then I left to go inside the restaurant and eat dinner. Within a few minutes, a few of my friends arrived and said that the cops were wanting to talk to me.
Long-story-slightly-shorter... I was the ONLY one who really (and admittedly) got a look at them and therefore was needed to a) drive by and attempt to identify the suspected criminals (who had been caught at this time), and b) fill out a witness statement.
Wasn't able to confidently complete "a", and "b" seemed like just a formality that would soon be forgotten.
Fast forward three months.... I received a supeona in the mail saying the prosecuting attorney needed me to come be a witness for the trial.
UGH.
Now let me pause to explain... I was watching this unfold in front of me, but I made it VERY clear that I couldn't clearly identify anyone and details were hard to recall as it happened SO fast. I said this to the officers on the day it happened... but didn't seem to matter.
Clearly these people didn't realize I have the memory of a goldfish so three months = I'd be NO help what-so-ever.
Buuuut I showed up to court, ready to say the very little I could recall confidently.
Never went on the stand, (client pleaded guilty), but learned a whole lot about how all this works.
Note to self: Don't get involved unless you are REALLY wanting/able to help see everything through. Otherwise it just ends up being a waste of time and energy.
Three hours outside a courtroom with Richard... simply due to the fact that I saw it all happen... because what was happening didn't line up in my head fast enough to stop staring. Go figure.
....
On-the-other-hand, who knows how much it strengthened the prosecutor's case simply having an "eye-witness" present??
Who knows, but I like to think it led to some good:)
 |
| Oh don't worry... Richard thought this image of me going to attempt to identify the witness was hilarious. Cool... really cool. |
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Christmas isn't in October??
I realized last night, as I was crying watching a show about families that all live right by each other (no, not Modern Family... though I do love that one), that I'm beating my record for most time passed without seeing my family.
Hadn't realized it would even bother me. Not that I don't miss them all, of course I do. But It's not like I've never left home. I attended collage 13 driving hours away for four years and all. (Yes, only four years... geez, don't assume I'm one of those...).
Anyway, lately, this week especially, I've just been missing them like crazy. I think the reality of where I live and what that may or may not look like for awhile, if not forever, is kicking my butt.
Up till now I've never gone longer than between 3-4 months without seeing my mom. In college there was thanksgiving, then Christmas, then Spring break (my mom would come visit during hers), then the summer. Then I moved home.
Fast forward a year or so and I move to Hawaii in August. Then Christmas, then Nate's wedding in June, and now we are to October.
Did you know Christmas is not in October??? Shit.
This means about three more months without my mom's hugs, and playing games with my dad, and watching movies with my brothers, and getting to know my new (and pregnant!) sister-in-law, and playing with my niece.
I'm all about the adventure of being here, I swear I am. But if you think that 7 months away from family doesn't make me seriously question my decisions, you'd be wrong.
The thing is, not everyone has a good family. Many MANY people have a hard time even enjoying their families. Many struggle to feel loved or express love to their families. Many people see spending time with family as an obligation to be completed as fast as possible.
I'm not one of these people.
Moving here is like a shot of perspective to what you have.
I have such a wonderful family and I'm extremely blessed to have them to miss in the first place.
But man... Christmas just can't come fast enough!
The thing is, I know I couldn't really leave this place right now. I actually have started to love it and feel like my life is here. But if Hawaii accidentally got picked up and dropped down like a few thousand miles closer to St. Louis (yes, I realize logistically this is insane), I'd be okay with that:)
Hadn't realized it would even bother me. Not that I don't miss them all, of course I do. But It's not like I've never left home. I attended collage 13 driving hours away for four years and all. (Yes, only four years... geez, don't assume I'm one of those...).
Anyway, lately, this week especially, I've just been missing them like crazy. I think the reality of where I live and what that may or may not look like for awhile, if not forever, is kicking my butt.
Up till now I've never gone longer than between 3-4 months without seeing my mom. In college there was thanksgiving, then Christmas, then Spring break (my mom would come visit during hers), then the summer. Then I moved home.
Fast forward a year or so and I move to Hawaii in August. Then Christmas, then Nate's wedding in June, and now we are to October.
Did you know Christmas is not in October??? Shit.
This means about three more months without my mom's hugs, and playing games with my dad, and watching movies with my brothers, and getting to know my new (and pregnant!) sister-in-law, and playing with my niece.
I'm all about the adventure of being here, I swear I am. But if you think that 7 months away from family doesn't make me seriously question my decisions, you'd be wrong.
The thing is, not everyone has a good family. Many MANY people have a hard time even enjoying their families. Many struggle to feel loved or express love to their families. Many people see spending time with family as an obligation to be completed as fast as possible.
I'm not one of these people.
Moving here is like a shot of perspective to what you have.
I have such a wonderful family and I'm extremely blessed to have them to miss in the first place.
But man... Christmas just can't come fast enough!
The thing is, I know I couldn't really leave this place right now. I actually have started to love it and feel like my life is here. But if Hawaii accidentally got picked up and dropped down like a few thousand miles closer to St. Louis (yes, I realize logistically this is insane), I'd be okay with that:)
 |
| Old School Christmas pic.... yes, Jordan's hair is amazing. |
Sunday, October 2, 2011
My friend Sarah Brown
Yep, I named this blog after my friend.
.... Who is probably the only one who reads in anyway, so it's okay:)
I have this friend. She is the best. Her name is Sarah Brown.
When I moved to Hawaii she came along with me to make sure I didn't freak out as soon as I got off the plane. (Or I should say to make sure I didn't freak out more than I did:).
She has shown me what it means to be a dedicated friend. I'm sure I test her patience at times, but she is always there and teaches me so much about the Lord and about life. I respect her more than I could put in words and my thankfulness for her is pretty much impossible to explain.
Have you ever had a friend that you felt just understood you? Understood you enough to let you be you, even in the worst moments or most embarrassing moments? This would be Sarah in my life.
I'll admit, not everyone has the capacity to do that with me. I can fall apart at times (more often than I wish!) and really be a spaz at others. But Sarah's friendship and dedication to being apart of my life have been priceless--especially these past two years.
She. Is. A. Gift.
Not just to me, but to others as well.
http://www.postandcourier.com/news/2011/oct/02/hot-dog-ministryyoung-christian-volunteers/
Check out the above link to see the ministry her and her now husband run each week. I couldn't be more proud of them and their love for the Lord that serves to bless those in need in Charleston, SC.
What an excellent example of serving and loving others.
Thank you Sarah and Leland for the time, money, and energy you put towards the hotdog ministry each week. I'm blessed to simply hear about it and I'm so thankful to have friends who love the Lord so much:)
... (this article just might help me to remember not to call you during Tuesday evening Charleston time.. doubtful, but just maybe;)
.... Who is probably the only one who reads in anyway, so it's okay:)
I have this friend. She is the best. Her name is Sarah Brown.
When I moved to Hawaii she came along with me to make sure I didn't freak out as soon as I got off the plane. (Or I should say to make sure I didn't freak out more than I did:).
She has shown me what it means to be a dedicated friend. I'm sure I test her patience at times, but she is always there and teaches me so much about the Lord and about life. I respect her more than I could put in words and my thankfulness for her is pretty much impossible to explain.
Have you ever had a friend that you felt just understood you? Understood you enough to let you be you, even in the worst moments or most embarrassing moments? This would be Sarah in my life.
I'll admit, not everyone has the capacity to do that with me. I can fall apart at times (more often than I wish!) and really be a spaz at others. But Sarah's friendship and dedication to being apart of my life have been priceless--especially these past two years.
She. Is. A. Gift.
Not just to me, but to others as well.
http://www.postandcourier.com/news/2011/oct/02/hot-dog-ministryyoung-christian-volunteers/
Check out the above link to see the ministry her and her now husband run each week. I couldn't be more proud of them and their love for the Lord that serves to bless those in need in Charleston, SC.
What an excellent example of serving and loving others.
Thank you Sarah and Leland for the time, money, and energy you put towards the hotdog ministry each week. I'm blessed to simply hear about it and I'm so thankful to have friends who love the Lord so much:)
... (this article just might help me to remember not to call you during Tuesday evening Charleston time.. doubtful, but just maybe;)
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