News Flash: Don't Rush Life.

I'm the type of person who is always looking at the next thing.

I love to plan, I love to think ahead, and I LOVE to act in the moment with the future in mind. It's literally how I'm wired. My passion in life is creating health plans for people to be able to loose weight... small steps for great outcomes... motivated by future gain.

This is me. 

Sometimes though, often actually, this mentality can rob me of being in the present. I can be so driven by my own agenda, plans, and goals, that I miss out on what's going on right in front of me. 

This is where a good quality goes bad. It's good to think ahead in hopes of making wise decisions and being prepared. It's bad to be overly-future minded. 

When I moved to Hawaii I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I knew (more-or-less) what it all would look like. Find a job, find an apartment, decorate it all quickly, enjoy the beach, and watch as my perfect relationship falls into place (okay I've never really thought it was perfect;). But I truly did move with a mindset that things would go a certain way; not devoid of struggle or challenge, but according to what I thought. 

To some degree, things have gone "according to plan". I did find a job, I did find an apartment that I proceeded to decorate, and I do enjoy the beach and my relationship. But what it all looked like, the actual journey to all of that, was and is nothing like I thought it would be. 

My predicted timeline for life has continually been thrown off. In fact, I can't think of a single aspect of my move that has gone according to my "perfect" timeline. 

I can't help but think that this is a blessing, however. 

For example, today I watched three kids for ten hours. It was exhausting, draining, and truly sucked all the energy out of me. 

I've always wanted kids. If you would have asked me last year, I would have said I wanted to be a mom whenever possible. It's never been like my driving desire in life, but it's just always been a natural love for me.

I still want kids... but just a little taste of what life means when you're very responsible for little people (children that is, not midgets...), well it's left me grateful to be RIGHT where I am in life. I am thankful for time to live in my little apartment by myself, thankful for time to rest and to adjust, and thankful for time without having kids; )

Thanks to my God who knows me better than I know myself; a God who doesn't let me move so fast through life that I miss out on everything wonderful. This is a true blessing, because at the pace I think and plan, I would probably accidentally be about 80 years old right now : )

"50th State Fair"

I noticed an advertisement in the Friday edition of Honolulu's newspaper... for none other than the "50th State Fair". I thought to myself "oh wow, cool that it's such a monumental year... the 50th fair here!".

No, no.

It is in fact the "50th STATE" fair. Yes, Hawaii was the 50th state added to the Union. Duh, right? Yeah... I missed that. You'd think whomever named this fair would realize that's a confusing play-on-words, wouldn't you?

Well anyway, Richard, that tall, dark, handsome fellow I occasionally like to hang out with... he decided to take his lovely girlfriend to this fair.

I was excited, to say the least. Partially because of my love for fairs, and partially because the fair environment itself is familiar to me... in a place where not much is. I mean, everywhere I have lived has had a fair and all. It's like the Starbucks-feels-like-home syndrome.

Why do I love these money-sucking, filthy, fairly ridiculous events??

Ah.... flashing lights + loud music + stupid rides that make you feel nauseous + entertaining people EVERYWHERE.... = the best night ever.

Call me crazy, (or 13 years old...), but I love fairs. I mean, once every few years or so, that is. (Not trying to buy a trailer-home  and go cross country hitting up all the big fairs or anything... ).

The adrenlalalin rush and abundance of audio/visual stimuli has a calming effect on my ADD self. Scary, right? I think so.

So yes, we went to the 52nd annual 50th State Fair.

SOOOOO close.

Joy. 

First ride???... swings, for sure. 

All the little girls had a crush on Richard. May have been his girly screams during the ride. 

:)

Hippie prizes. 

This game was rigged. Light ball and very heavy jars... lame. 

What adult would actually be confused about that? Scary. 

Pretty lights!! 

Richard is an amateur... lacking the correct shoes for fairs. 

Please ask yourself... Why, WHY would this all need to be included in the caution sign of the ferris wheel? Slightly disturbing.  

Awww... :)

Sketch. 

"Backyard Circus"... even more sketch. 

The 52nd 50th State Fair ladies and gentlemen.... truly an event. 

Props to the other Kate.... there is NO way I could handle that

Kate Meddleton, now a "princess". Gotta admit--she seems pretty cool compared to the other famous people around. I'm not one to really be into the whole celebrity life obsession thing, but the Royal Wedding news is EVERYWHERE.

Okay, okay... maybe I did purchase the People Magazine 'Collector's Edition' this past week to read all about the couple's big day. That's what happens when my boyfriend goes out-of-town and I'm left to entertain myself for an entire week, (what.. girly movies, glasses of wine, facial masks, sleeping in, shopping too much?? Yes... and buying stupid magazines).

Back to my point. After reading the articles that included more information that anyone really needs... I have come to one firm conclusion: absolutely no way, in a million years, for all the money in the world, would I ever, ever, EVER want to be in the spot Kate Middleton was and is in right now.

Yeah I'm not blind. Handsome prince (he is balding though.. just saying), admiration and support of millions, royal lifestyle with every luxury imaginable, a dream wedding that no guest would miss and no one else could probably afford... it's all pretty ridiculous/fairy tale-like.

Fairy tale for sure... but the little girl (in the bottom left) better describes my feelings about such an event.

I have no doubt that this idea is probably just about every girl's dream.

Not this girl though.

I would be so incredibly miserable.

Not from all the amazing opportunities or getting to meet all sorts of fascinating people... that would be fun. I would even enjoy all the traveling and volunteering in impoverished countries (though I'm pretty sure famous people just pose for a minute with a malnourished child and call it a day... but maybe not). That, all of that, sounds pretty unforgettable.

But... what about the constant feeling of being watched???

I. Would. Go. Nuts.

I mean, I don't even like that very rare feeling of being watched as a pastor's daughter that probably doesn't even really exist... (especially when I show up to church late, with coffee, and sit in the back... crap, I do fit the stereotype). I have never liked that "watched" feeling.

I love people's one-on-one attention... that I could have all the time. I love the real conversations and learning about others. I also enjoy (though not as often) group settings with fun people. But this would be only people I am really comfortable around--or when I at least having one person present that I am comfortable around. This is just the way I'm wired. I could have just one friend to be my buddy, and that'd be plenty:)

Having a whole world watch me as I wave and smile non stop, try not to wipe out on my ass or say something stupid, and strive to look fairly good at all times??... nope.

That sounds completely awful to me. Talk about pressure!

Please note the perfect wave and smile. Explains why I would also hate being in beauty pageants. 

I can imagine exactly how this would go for me...

If I were to be a princess in the spotlight, I would frequently have facial expressions that don't match what's going on around me, feel completely scatter-brained as my ADD mind takes in every visual and audible stimulus within a half mile, and more-often-than-not say something sarcastic to the worst person possible.

The royal lifestyle doesn't seem conducive to my brain, personality, or sense of humor whatsoever. I would end up internalizing every smart ass thought I have... which would result in awkward laughter at inopportune times... and sharp criticism by onlookers, (that would probably hurt my feelings because I have a sensitive streak too).

Not to mention the need to look good and wear the best clothing ALL the time.

Yes, I know that princesses have plenty of help and do very little personally to maintain their appearances. That part I would like sometimes, because I like to look good/dressy on occasion. But the majority of the time it doesn't seem worth the effort to look "flawless" when it isn't natural anyway. (Plus I'm pretty sure the white tank top/jeans look I have been sporting since high school is my staple now... can't mess with tradition).

I like to dress up for date nights, holidays, weddings... whatever. But not a tuesday when I run to the grocery store. Psh... get real.

So yeah, looking perfect ALL the time?? Too much... not fun.

Over-priced hats + pressure to make a good appearance = misery. 

I think it all boils down my issues with feeling any sort of pressure to meet others' expectations. Frankly, I think that concept is annoying.

I like to be myself; good at certain things and bad at plenty of things... but I like to be that way because it's me. Not because I'm expected to be a certain way, not because I care what others think so much that it dictates my actions... no.

If I'm great or look good or have the best heart in the world, or fall flat on my face... let it be because that's who I am (or am not)... not because I'm filling a role, or living up to what others think I should do.

That goal seems stupid, and I wouldn't do well at trying to obtain it.

That's my rebellious spirit for ya. It doesn't show up all the time, but it is still there:)

In conclusion, thank you Lord for making me the way you did and then not asking me to be a princess. It looks exhausting, over-rated, and despite all that goes with it... pretty unfulfilling in the end. Props to Kate for taking all that on. I'm sure she is probably a cool girl, and I hope she lives a long happy life... but so so SO glad that's not me.

If prince Harry calls tell him I'm not interested. (ha... right).

Fortunately this is all very irrelevant babble, because I skipped right over the princess dream and went for the living on an island with a handsome dark man dream (ha).

But in all seriousness, I never feel watched here (helps that I know very few people and all:), and I feel all the freedom in the world to just be me:). Kind of wonderful actually.

I based my big life decisions on Nike advertisements

I used to joke that the decision to go to College of Charleston was based on thinking the location would be a nice place to run. I mean, you always see those Nike commercials with people running in amazing places and they look SO happy right??!!

Okay maybe that wasn't my reason for attending COFC (at least not entirely).

I will say though, I do get an immense amount of joy from having a beautiful location in which to run. Maybe it sounds stupid to most people, but being able to use some of my energy towards working out and enjoying the scenery/weather is a true gift, and I really do appreciate it.

With my thankful attitude first explained (ha), I should continue to say that I am totally spoiled with this gift; first with Charleston and now with Hawaii. Yes there have been challenges to moving (wow..  really?? As if I hadn't written about those in almost every blog since August... :). But today I'd just like to go on the record of saying that I love that I can run in this beautiful place every day, and I truly appreciate it!

Most often, I run a loop around this valley. All the streets are numbered and you are always moving either further to or from the big mountain range, (helpful for those of us with directional problems). 

Occasionally I like to run around Diamond Head mountain... a few miles away from my apartment. It winds through a park (as pictured), and around the mountain and includes a beautiful view of the water (see below). 

If all else fails, I can always run at the gym. This would be the view from the parking lot next to my gym. Ridiculous, I know. 

A Word From Pastor Ricks

No, I'm not referring to myself as "Pastor Ricks".  I am however posting today's e devotional that my father wrote. I don't normally do this, but in this case I think he made some really great points about what it means to respond to the death of Osama Bin Laden in a Christ-like fashion.  Question of the day: as a Christian, an American, and someone strongly against the acts of terrorism, how do I sort out my thoughts and emotions about the current events?  I think the following devotional addresses this topic in a biblical and accurate way. (Not sure if e devotionals are allowed to be posted like this... but I'm pretty confident the church wouldn't sue the pastor's kid... so yeah, let's hope not:).  May 5, 2011  Due to the international events of the last week I'm taking a quick break from James and will return to it next week. 10"Son of man, say to the Israelites, 'This is what you are saying: "Our offenses and sins weigh us down, and we are wasting away because of them. How then can we live?"' 11Say to them, 'As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live. Turn! Turn from your evil ways! Why will you die, people of Israel?' Ezekiel 33:10-12 After ten long years of persistent and dogged determination, the United States finally got their man.  Last Sunday, May 1, 2011 (it was already Monday, May 2 in Pakistan), a Navy SEAL team swarmed the compound where Osama bin Laden was residing and took the life of the most wanted man in US history since John Wilkes Booth.  On Sunday evening while announcing the event, President Obama proclaimed, "justice has been done."  Reaction was instantaneous and wildly enthusiastic.  The mastermind of attacks such as the USS Cole and 9/11 was forced to pay the piper.  The avenue in front of the White House that normally hosts a wide variety of protests became home to a street festival of dancing and cheering.  On campuses around the country, college students celebrated with enthusiasm usually reserved for national football or basketball championships.  No one seemed to notice that some of this revelry took place at schools which do not allow military recruiters on campus! For one day Democrats and Republicans put their differences aside and actually had relatively nice words for one another.  Politicians who recently decried waterboarding as criminal were conveniently silent on the subject when it was learned that the interrogation process was instrumental in gaining information critical to the mission. Their colleagues who think it is an acceptable practice didn't bother to point out the hypocrisy.  Everyone hugged. The applause was universal.  As one commentator put it, "it is a good day for America." As I sat in front of my TV, I was filled with mixed emotions.  On the one hand, Osama bin Laden certainly was guilty of slaughtering thousands of innocent men, women and children.  He didn't have, "his day in court," but no one outside of radical, militant Islam would argue that he was treated unfairly.  The "war on terror" is not over, but he clearly won't be able to organize another attack that will bring the searing pain of sudden grief and loss.  If I were sitting in the President's chair, I would have given the go-ahead as well.  In many respects he got what he deserved.  The Apostle Paul says as much in Romans 13: For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, 4for he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer.      At the same time, the "dancing in the streets" didn't feel quite right to me.  Now please don't misunderstand.  I am not a pacifist nor do I believe you can build a case for societal or national pacifism based on scripture.  God is completely merciful and completely just.  There is no moral defect in God's judgment against those who willfully rebel against his Messiah (see Psalm 2 and Revelation 19-20).  When human justice is served against evil we reflect (perhaps poorly) God's proper hatred of injustice. What was a bit unsettling was the joy we all seemed to be experiencing at the death of another human being.  What has been more than a bit unsettling in the last 24-48 hours was the vigor with which disciples of Jesus seemed to be joining in the revelry. Those of us who have embraced the gospel have freely acknowledged that apart from Jesus Christ we deserve God's condemnation and wrath.  We know that we do not "get" what our sins deserve.  Our sins may not have resulted in mass murders, but are we innocent of the blood of Jesus?  I know no authentic follower of Christ who would argue our blamelessness.  Relief that bin Laden won't kill again? Yes!  Thankfulness that this may bring some closure to those who lost loved ones in his murderous attacks? Absolutely!  Heartfelt appreciation for the skill of our military and the safe return of the SEALs team?  You bet! Delight stemming from a sense of vengeance or self-righteous smugness?  Perhaps we should pause. Ezekiel prophesied during Israel's captivity in Babylon.  His message was to remind the Jews living in exile that their sins had caused their expulsion from the land, but he also offered God's message of hope and restoration.  Clearly those who had been uprooted from home and family and driven into a foreign land looked for revenge against their enemies.  But through the prophet God warned his people against the assumption that he cherished the opportunity to destroy the wicked.  Ezekiel spent the better part of 20 years calling his fellow countrymen to repentance and trust in God instead of hatred toward the Babylonians.  Eventually God brought judgment on Babylon and the people returned to their homeland.  But prior to that restoration the prophet pointed out that self-righteous indignation is not a proper response to the downfall of evildoers.  By his own confession, God says, "I take no pleasure at the death of the wicked" and therefore neither should we.  God is not vindictive; he is just.  There is a huge difference between the two. Perhaps I am overreacting or seeing something that isn't there.  More often than not I am wrong and this may be one of those occasions.  But could it be that those of us who love Jesus and long to honor him have blurred the lines? Only By His Grace, Dr. Tom Ricks Lead Pastor Greentree Community Church Kirkwood MO 63122 www.greentreechurch.com

Obama/Osama Confusion

So Richard and I were sitting at the beach on Sunday afternoon watching the sunset, eating some dinner, and taking some family pictures of our friends with their new baby boy... when all-of-a-sudden a woman comes by with an excited expression and says "Did you guys hear?!! Obama is dead!!"....

The four of us were completely shocked... hearing that the U.S. president has been killed and all. We proceeded to ask the woman what happened, and she says she wasn't sure, she just knows someone killed him and it's all over the news.

In addition to the shock we experienced upon hearing the news, the conversation was very odd because the woman seemed to be positively thrilled about it... I mean truly filled with excitement and joy.

I myself am not a huge Obama fanatic, but I would be devastated if any of our presidents were assassinated; certainly not celebrating.

Richard quickly checked the internet on his phone and discovered that it was in fact "Osama" and not "Obama". Darn those tricky O names! ha...

Example A of how quickly misunderstandings can occur within the American public:)

... Sadly I did not make up this story.

We did clear up the confusion with our fellow beach dweller, and had a good laugh:)

Now What?

Step 1: Obtain a sewing machine.

Why yes.. it does so happen to match my apartment and that does bring me way too much joy. 

Check.

Step 2: Learn to use it.

No check.

If anyone has any great tips for how to get from step 1 to step 2, I'm all ears...

I can think of the obvious mechanisms that may help... purchase a book like "Idiot's Guide to Using A Sewing Machine", look up instructional videos online, get a pattern and just go for it... yeah yeah... but I'm asking where is the best place to start; best place to avoid getting extremely frustrated and throwing the new machine across the room, (oh hush, I live by myself... it's not like anyone would get hurt).

For those who don't know me, I'm a kinesthetic learner and a verbal processor. Aka I have to literally do something myself, (several times), while talking about it before I really learn anything.

Sound like a pain in the ass way to learn things? Yep, it is.

How can you talk about something you don't know how to do yet?? You can't. Unless you are me... and then you just talk about it until you figure it out; process of elimination at it's greatest, (or worst:).

So yeah... need to get from step 1 to step 2 and would love advice from anyone that actually knows how to use a sewing machine.