Definition of Friendship (in my eyes:)

I've had a variety of friends in my 25 years of life.

Most were around for a bit and then due to distance, differences, and/or whatever we grew apart.

Sustaining friendships is a challenge to start with, and all my transitioning over the last few years has taught me what I really value in a friendship, as well as what causes great harm to me in one.

I don't think friendship is all about what you can get from it, in fact I would suggest that it's more about how you can serve and love others. I don't think friendship is about always doing the right thing either... that's not practical.

Saying that, I can tell you which friends in my life I feel truly loved by, and this is pretty priceless in my opinion.

And I find that the older I get, the more particular I am about the friendships I form. Not to say that I'm looking for the perfect person or am too good to be friends with anyone, not at all. (Let's be honest, I can be a handful so I appreciate anyone who puts up with me over time; ). But having been hurt a great deal from some relationships in the past, I tend to guard my heart a bit more these days.

And as things get busy, as priorities change, and as life throws a few challenges my way, I have begun to learn what a true friend (for me at least) is.

I believe that people, due to differences in backgrounds/personalities/weaknesses/etc. experience love in different ways. So the following probably doesn't apply to everyone, but it is accurate for me:)

A friend who blesses me... 

Will almost always let me be me.... with the good, the bad, and the ugly. Not to say he/she won't offer challenge or advice when needed, but that he/she understands that my feeling secure in our relationship might be more valuable than fixing a certain issue.

Strives to be encouraging with words and actions.

Views our relationship as a gift and not a burden.

Listens and understands that generally I just need to talk things out.

Can laugh easily.

Will reassure me when I feel anxious, and not use that moment to tear me down.

Can be honest with me in a graceful way.

Appreciates the person I am.

Doesn't talk poorly about me to others.

Can be trusted.

Has confidence in me even when I lack it myself.

Enjoys my company.

Sees the things I struggle with as opportunities to love and encourage me, not annoyances.

Shows me respect.

Mourns with me when I am hurting.

Carries me when I can't carry myself.

Is protective.

Shows me that his/her love for me is unconditional not because of what I do, but because I am his/her friend.

This person finds joy and value in our relationship.

He or she can see me just as I am, and love me all the same.

More than anything though, a true friend to me doesn't go anywhere (figuratively, that is), and therein instills confidence in his/her love for me. (Meaning I trust this person is in it for the long run and therefore I don't need to prove anything or constantly make the friendship work).

This is what it means to me to be loved, this is what it means to feel freedom and security in a relationship, and this is what I am thankful for today.

My only perfect friend is Christ, and Christ alone.

But the people like my mom and dad, like Sarah, like Laura, like Hannah, like my younger brother, like Kelli, like Audrey, and esp like Richard.... they love me SO well, and they teach me what it means to be a real friend, and to love in a Christ-like fashion.

Through these examples and more, I have not only been blessed greatly, but have begun to learn how incredibly secure I can be in my relationship with Christ who loves me perfectly.

I can only hope that I will use these things I appreciate as a guide to loving others well. I so often fall short, but I desire to love this way.

In addition, I can only hope that when I am not loved well (or when I do not love well), in a friendship, that  that experience can serve a purpose still. Not for the pain in causes, but so that I may learn how to better love others, and can learn the superiority in God's love for me.

After all, if I truly love those in my life, than I'd prefer to be the one who is hurt and learns from it, than to cause hurt for others right?

That's my schpeel on friendships for the day.

:)