Never have I Ever (G rated version)...

Every now and again I have this same thought pop into my head, "Wow, I've never (fill in blank with random activity). I wonder if that's weird?". 


Call me crazy, but these epiphanies entertain me, so I figured I'd compile a list.


Never have I ever...
- Wanted to see a horror film.
- Enjoyed watching a musical that isn't animated.
- Purchased french fries or ice cream just for the heck of it.
- Asked a guy out.
- Possessed any musical talent.
- Gone to see a movie or to eat dinner at a restaurant by myself.
- Been good at spelling or being concise with my writing.
- Cried about the death of a dog or cat.
- Wanted to knit or sow. 
- Beaten someone at a video game.
- Preferred to be taller or shorter than I am. 
- Broken a body part. 
- Wished I wasn't SO focused.
- Thought the average Caucasian male was very attractive. 
- Felt like cooking was easy.
- Considered cheerleading a sport.
- Enjoyed an episode of The Family Guy. 
- Traveled on a cruise ship. 
- Had respect for anyone on The Bachelor TV show. 
- Been content with my basketball skills. 
- Wished I had a sister growing up.  
- Enjoyed the game of checkers. 
- Wanted to date a golfer. 
- Considered myself extremely patient. 
- Over accessorized. 
- Gotten a speeding ticket (knock on wood). 


... I'm sure there are many more I haven't even thought of yet!! 

I blogged Sarah Moye. Lay off. : )

You know you have a friend who loves you when she A) likes to read your blog of rambling, and B) sends you frequent messages reminding you that you haven't blogged in awhile and need to do it. (Usually including the amount of time it's been since my last entry... added for dramatic effect, I'm sure).

So Sarah Moye, this blog is for you. And of course anyone else who wants an update:)

I really wanted to write an entry about my flight back to St. Louis before Christmas because it was truly hilarious.

Brief summery of the highlights:

- I sat behind a middle aged, newly wed couple with loud/annoying/constant laughs on my first flight. Yeah I know, I'm a jerk... some would say that's sweet. It would be sweet if it wasn't an overnight flight, they didn't find EVERYTHING funny, and the PDA had been kept to an even semi age/location-appropriate level.

- On the same flight there was a guy sitting a few rows in front of me, somewhere between the age of 18 and 30 (I mean really, who can tell sometimes), who would turn around every five minutes or so and make awkward eye contact. Very strange and very annoying because no matter how hard I tried, I was always looking back for a brief second.

Before you jump to conclusions that I was checking this guy out (I promise Richard!), please imagine sitting in a relatively silent and motionless environment (not counting the love birds in front of me of course),  where everyone's head is pointing in the same direction, except the weird dude that keeps obviously turning around. Combine that with having ADD and you can see how it drew my attention each time. Which yes, added to my discomfort and my annoyance.

At the end of the flight the guy didn't exit his row as any normal human being would, but stood there until I passed and proceeded to follow me off. Not saying a word. Just being odd.

Whatever no big deal. I was away now. I get off the plane, wander around for a snack, and then find a place to set up a computer. Oh wait, its not over...

Creepy staring guy shows up about 20 minutes later and sits two seats away, gets out his computer, and just breathes loudly. I mean HELLO?! Not okay. There wasn't even room for him to set up comfortably. He had to squeeze next to a big pillar and behind a trash can.

Just when I'm thinking how ridiculous this is at six in the morning when I'm clearly trying to send signals that I'm uncomfortable, his parents walk over. They ask why he chose to sit here and suggest moving to another place where there are actually enough seats for all of them to sit. He explains he is good there, because he's already set up and all. "Set up"... seriously?

So bad.

.... That was my flight to St. Louis.

Two weeks in St. Louis:
- Was odd to be back and feel like it's not really my residence any more. I didn't realize how use to living there I had become before I moved. To be the only family member without work and other obligations to tend to was strange. Vacation at my own house ha. Oh don't worry though, I didn't have a melt down in the first few hours or anything... :). The realization that I live very far hit me throughout my time home. For better or worse.

- I loved getting to know my brother's girlfriend. I haven't really had any time with her yet, and just getting to know her a little was wonderful! So nice not to be the only girl around all the time, and she is totally awesome and great for my brother. I loved seeing him care for her the way he does. Very sweet. (Insert "AWWWW":). It's true though, I loved it.

- Oh Nate gave us all bad colds that were supposed to turn into strep at some point. Thank you Lord for antibiotics.

- I GOT TO SEE LAURA!!!!! Only for a day, but if you know how much I love this friend of mine, then you know how much it meant to be to get to see her!!

- Richard joined the trip for the second week. That was fun. We played in the snow, worked out with my mom (who is an elliptical master already), and relaxed a lot. I was VERY excited to give Richard his Christmas gifts that I had wrapped oh so carefully. (Crap, I'm that girl now). He was lots of fun to have there and I was thankful my family could have just a bit of time with him.

I could do an entire entry of Richard's first "real" snow experience, but I'll spare everyone..  This is our snowant. Richard decided that since men don't have three distinct body segments, it should really be an ant. Apparently the "ant" scared a little girl visiting our house, so my loving older brother hit is with a car the next day to relieve the fear. ha.. love my family.

Two weeks pass, and back to Hawaii:

Okay enough of the bullet points.

I have been pleasantly surprised in how I felt coming back. After a long few months of transitioning, Christmas break was just what the doctor ordered. A little R & R with the family refreshed my spirit, and reminded me that the sky is not falling just because I moved away. Phew.

(What, I'm not the center of the universe??? Weird).

Yes the warm weather and friendly faces help make this place amazing. But from an emotional and mental standpoint, this is the first time I have really felt like I am in the "right' place. I am surprised how much I missed those I've gotten to know here, my overly color-coordinated apartment, and everything else.

Life is always going to bring changes and challenges... moving is probably the very tip of the mountain. Saying that, it's nice to not have to constantly try so hard to be okay here, but to just be okay here. For the first time in a long time I feel like myself again--and it's good, really good.

I do have a tendency to always be trying to work on something, to fix something about myself or my circumstances. It's exhausting for me and those around me. My mom has always said her prayer for me is just to be content.  This is no new topic, its' been a challenge all my life.  But I'm confident that no matter what the circumstances are (the good, the bad, and the ugly), I must always seek to rest in the Lord. Not because I need to be perfect, but because it's not my natural reaction to rest, and I can't help but think that it's not glorifying to God when I am ALWAYS striving, and never just being. The state of my heart almost always has more to do with my relationship with Him than it does anything else. So in this seemingly less stressful stage, I hope to do just that... rest in the Lord.

So that's that.

Move to Hawaii, check.

I guess it's time to finally go get my Hawaii driver's license.

Eh, maybe next week ; )

Waiting For My Downfall...

Apparently when the temperature drops a few degrees in Hawaii EVERYONE comes down with some type of flu/cold/virus/whatever. Yes, I have heard of the flu season, but I've never seen it happen so fast to everyone around me.

All of Richard's family has been sick this week. One of my only two female friends is also not feeling well. The kids I babysit are all three sick this week (as well as their grandparents)... and somehow I still don't show any true signs of catching something.

Today I feel a little achy and my head and stomach feel somewhat off... but I'm fairly positive that it's just in my head.

The last five days I have woken up and thought "wow, I'm seriously still not sick?". Don't get me wrong, I really really don't care to catch anything right now and would be thrilled if it passed right by me, but it seems incredibly strange considering the odds. Which no, I don't really know what the odds are, but I'm positive they are against me.

This reminds me of last year when every staff member in our office came down with this awful flu/cold except for me. I was literally one of five who didn't catch it in a week time span... But then like three weeks later I seemed to experience the same thing.

My theory: I have a delayed immune system. Instead of just giving me something and having me go through it first, I have to watch everyone else feel like crap while I anticipate my downfall. Not cool.

Of course it's not really a big deal if I get sick, but I refuse to think I'm in the clear because as soon as I do... bam... it'll hit. It's like my body is messing with my mind. Maybe if I call it's bluff it'll miss me this year.

One can only hope.

A Parents' Guide For Hiring a Nanny: What NOT to do

Okay, let me preface this entry by saying that I'm aware that I am not a parent and that I can't claim to understand the experience or that relationship in the way an actual parent is able to. I'm not claiming to know everything in the realm of childcare, but as a nanny of too many years to count (or admit), I'd like to address this topic.

I am currently enrolled in an online nannying website that allows caregivers and parents to touch base, set, up interviews, etc. Fortunately I have successfully found two jobs through this tool; both of which I really like. Those I had interviewed with up to this point where respectful, grounded, and very straight forward.

Until last night, that is.

A women contacted me asking if I would like to watch her 18 month old for 4 hours a week. No biggie... maybe I could start grocery shopping with the extra cash and all. However when I called her back she proceeded to explain in detail how she wants her child to be watched.

*She (in a VERY high-strung voice) explained that she has different "activity sections" set up in her house, and wants her child to stay at each section for increments of 30 minutes. At NO time should her child EVER watch TV. The family's current nanny is a newly hired college professor, and she wants someone who will work on language skills with the child. Oh and to top it all off, she is pregnant with another baby and will be staying home to "monitor" me for the first two months or so.*

After listening to her ramble on for 15 minutes about what she was looking for, I kindly said that I wasn't sure exactly what my schedule was, but I knew I was going to be trying to fit in a few classes (meaning like Yoga or Pilates... later taken out-of-context) in the morning so I would get back to her if I was interested.

Click. Conversation over. What a spaz.

I wake up this morning to see that she had written a review about me and posted it on my profile through the site. Please see the review below....

Disappointed-Be Alarmed

When I reviewed Katherine's profile-she claimed to be honest and professional. I first asked Katherine if she was a student and she said no. I explained in conversation that I would like morning hours. She said this was great and her profile shows these hours to be available. However, as soon as I mentioned that I would be in the home for the beginning of a new sitters time with my daughter-she immediately said that she would have to check with her boyfriends schedule and that she might be signing up for classes. She then said that she would email me if she was interested. Many mothers do not leave their children alone with sitters right at the beginning. Parents should be very alarmed when a sitter is uncomfortable with the parents being in the home -Concerned Parent
............  

No no... I'm not kidding. I talked to this women for a total of 15 minutes, if even that. She was so busy telling me the details of what she wanted that she failed to ask me a single question about myself (other than my availability), and when I took the respectful and pain-free route of telling her I wasn't sure about schedules but would get back to her, she proceeded to assume and tell others that I am not only a liar, but someone that can't be trusted with children.

SERIOUSLY???

Who does that?!

I wrote back a very small response to her review... because I'm not about to waste my time trying to justify my trustworthiness to this loony. But for the record, this is what I would have liked to say:

"Dear Ma'am,

The reason I so quickly got off the phone (once you let me get a word in edgewise), was because you are NOT the kind of parent I'm willing to work for. To the world, it may look like you are a caring, dedicated, and hard-working parent. To me however, your over-attention to detail, seemingly paranoid response to things, and obviously controlling nature aren't worth the $15 an hour. I'm sure you try very very hard and have the best of intentions, but I won't run a Montessori program in your living room while you are there monitoring and critiquing my every move. I mean seriously, kill me now.

Could I use this job? Yes. Am I perfectly capable of doing what you ask? Most definitely.

The problem, my over-achieving woman, is that I cannot work in a way that is contrary to what I believe is right, true, and loving. When I watch children, I care for them and I care about how I do my job. I don't think that loving children well means creating a stressful and controlling environment for them, and I refuse to contribute to that goal. I believe in doing what's best for the child, and if you can't handle allowing another person to play some role in discerning what that is while you are away (that is if you EVER actually went away), then you probably shouldn't bother leaving your child with me. It's an insult for you to tell me step-by-step what you child should do, or to insist on having that kind of control over the situation.

Putting all of that aside, let me ASSURE you that in approximately 12 years your kid isn't going to want to be in the same room as you, and will resent everything you tell he or she to do.

I have no problem with parents wanting a certain routine or desiring to leave the TV off... those are probably wise calls. I can follow direction to the T, but if the intention appears to be anything but love for a child, I'm out. Needing to micro-manage every aspect of a child's life is a sign of fear, selfishness, and lack of perspective... NOT love.

Sincerely,

K-A-T-H-A-R-I-N-E. (please try to spell my name correctly next time)"

........

Too harsh?? Maybe. But come on parents, get a grip. I understand it's a scary thing to leave your child with another person and to let go a bit of the control, but please know that you are messing up your kid's life if you constantly need everything to go a certain way.

Am I irritated? Most definitely. Not only because of this woman's obvious lack of knowledge about good parenting, but also because of how she reacted to my decision not to pursue an interview. I have EVERY right not to pursue a job... and the fact that she chose to write accusations that could really effect me and my relationship with other parents is extremely frustrating. Especially given the fact that she has never even met me!

So I'll complete my rambling with this list of things employers do that I appreciate:
-Understanding that your child is NOT the center-of-the-universe... and not asking me to create an environment that suggests that is true.
-Treating me like the educated adult that I am.
-Wanting your child to enjoy a new person, (rather than feeling so paranoid about the process that you have to be apart of every step, even when not present).
-Acting like an adult.

So that's my update for the day. On the bright side I'm learning all sorts of things about what I don't want to do when I'm a parent.

Thanks to the Denckoff and Wilson families who knew how to be great parents and good employers:)

A Tour of My Humble Abode

That's right ladies and gentlemen (maybe just gentleman... pretty sure Richard is the only male who reads this)... since my mom's package has arrived with the throw pillows (FINALLY), I am ready to show you the new place.

Let's begin with my bedroom... I chose purple and gray. There is still much to add, but these are the colors I'm working with and what I have so far. The table will be painted a shade of gray ("Stone Mountain" actually).

Please notice the stuffed bunny. His name is Happy. I have not parted from him since I was 7 years old. Don't judge.

Next we will enter the bathroom. This was the first part of the apartment that I decorated. At first I wondered if I would get sick of the flowery blue and pink shower curtain, but don't fret... I am extremely girly in secret ways and continue to love the selection:) 

Below is a frame my mom and I found together right before I moved. She added the wire and included magnets. It can be used to hang pictures or jewelry. Please note the there is a missing "A". Let's hope she just couldn't find it or it got lost... would be sad if my mom forgot how to spell my name. 

And finally... the third, last, and my personal favorite room of the house... the living room/kitchen area. I went with a beachy theme. Yes I think my love for color-coordination has reached an all time low (or high depending on who you ask:). 

.... So that is my new place. I hope you enjoyed the tour. I have had a few rooms that I really loved in life, but this place really is "Katie" in every way... for better-or-worse. Someone should probably come visit me soon so I can share the joy! 

P.S. Anyone who knows me well should observe one color that plays a part in every room.... :) 

TWO entries in one week... this is what we call progress.

I know, I know... I'm going above and beyond without waiting an entire month or so to write another entry. An incredible improvement really. 


Annnnyyyyywwwwaaaaayyyyyy,


I wanted to follow up my previous semi-depressing blog entry with some positive details about this week. I lost my camera a few weeks ago (wait wait, I promise this one isn't a downer...). The loss was relatively tragic. 


Don't judge me, this has nothing to do with me being materialistic... it just so happens that taking pictures is my FAVORITE pass time. Whenever I'm far from home or feeling down, I can just go explore for a few hours and take some photos. It's my over-thinking self's way of getting a grip when I need to, or using my creativity to relax. I have loved taking pictures since high school when I would skip classes (except for gym of course) to play in the dark room for hours. 


I don't claim to be a pro or even all that great at the activity. Frankly I don't care about anything but the joy of the experience. Which in case you haven't met me (or read the entry about my love of structure), is a very unusual perspective for me to hold about any activity. 


So yes, I consider taking pictures a sacred pass time and a wonderful outlet. It reminds me that along with the world being often very ugly, there are so many places/things/people of beauty. Taking pictures helps me to quickly remember just how great the God I serve is--in all His majesty. 


So yes, the camera was lost and my heart was broken, (as broken as it could be for an item and all). 


But yesterday after church my very thoughtful and sweet boyfriend surprised me with a trip to Best Buy to replace my camera. Truthfully it's hard to even tell this story because I'm still a bit overwhelmed with the surprise. But needless-to-say I am extremely thankful and EXCITED! I spent all day yesterday trying out the camera and am still beaming with how blessed I feel just to be able to take pictures again. 

Obviously I won't be able to replace everything I ever loose like this, but what a very very special gift!!! 


Oh and to top it all off......


MY MOM'S PACKAGE FINALLY ARRIVED!! (The mail lady actually asked if there would be any more "heavy boxes" for me (ha!)). 


These simple two surprises have really made my month and I'm so thankful:) 


What an excellent example of how waiting and anticipating things you miss can result in increased joy when whatever actually arrives. I could have never lost my camera and my package could have arrived a month ago when it was scheduled too, but perhaps (don't really know, but just an idea:) God knew exactly when my spirit would need a big pick-me-up. 


So that's my good news. More to come on my first Thanksgiving away from family and in a place that lacks any sort of "fall feel".

I Am Blanking On a Good Title....

November blog entry, check.

In honor of a few friends who have pestered me about blogging... I shall blog.

I've tried to think of a fun subject or cool entry and am not coming up with anything incredible (obviously from the title I used)... so I'll just offer a sincere word or two about life at the moment.

I've been here a little over three months. I'm not sure what the average rate of transition is, but I'm confident that I am falling short of that statistic. In many ways my experience here has developed and improved. I have been blessed with a job nannying and cleaning, and I truly do love it. Stable income, simple tasks, consistent environment--truly a blessing. I don't even kind of miss the days of being out of work. The lack of structure was really tough of my spirit, though probably good for me in the long run.

Let the record show that God provided a job RIGHT when I truly needed it. Not sure why this surprised me, but it literally was the week I got to a place of actual need for work. Let the record also show that as with many of His provisions, I can't claim it as my own doing... the family literally found me. Not exactly a pride-builder, but an excellent reminder that God is the one who provides, on His strength and in His timing.

So yeah. Job, check.

As for the rest of life... I'm learning, and many days it's not very pleasant. I'm living on my own (and away from friends and family) for the first time ever, seem to be in a perpetual transition phase, and am trying hard to build my own life here... but struggling.

I have made a few friends here, but for the most part is seems like a constant challenge because no one is really in the same place as me. It can be difficult to relate when everyone else seems to be in a defined stage of life. Newly weds, expecting parents, college students, excited career-driven individuals... I'm always the odd women out.

For the above reasons and more, I find myself pushed to face insecurities and fears I didn't even know I had. Want to learn who you really are? Move away from everything you know and attempt to build a life on nothing truly solid but the Lord. I realize I'm not the first person to ever attempt such a venture, but whoever did should have written a how-to book on it.

As for other random updates:
- My package from my mother has STILL not arrived. Not cool.
- I lost my camera... if you don't realize how big of a tragedy this is then you don't know me very well.
- I Can't wait to go home for Christmas:)
- I am continuously overwhelmed by how beautiful this place is.
- My car got randomly keyed the other day while I was running... What the heck?!
- I'm attempting to start a small group with some girls.. we shall see if that works.
- Getting ready for the first Thanksgiving away from home next week--ugh.
- Bought Walmart dishes that match my rug PERFECTLY.

... That's about it. I would say life here is good, but challenging. I appreciate all the prayers from people (thanks grandma!), and am thankful for all that I'm learning despite some unpleasant moments:)